Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
