Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
