had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
