at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
