So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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