Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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