I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to calm my uterus...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
PANTIES FOUND
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
