is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's just like the Real World with babies
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
