I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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