I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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