Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
