...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
