You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i think i just lost a toe
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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