You don't have asthma, your pregnant
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
