Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
