I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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