areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
