It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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