so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
