Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
