Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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