I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
