I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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