You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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