with your own penis?
Non-Jews are for practice
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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