I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't think brook has ever known best
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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