you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
