I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize