you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
