oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
