My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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