Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
