Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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