he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
