so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
