I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
