i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
