kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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