I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
