accomplished twins. life is a go
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
