Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
