Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
