Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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