Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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