Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
