What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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