when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
