blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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