Im at strip club and am horny
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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