Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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