there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
